Junnosuke Tachibana is a rabid dog who should be beaten to death with a stick: let's talk about Nukitashi

Ok, once more for good luck: Junnosuke Tachibana is a rabid dog who should be beaten to death with a stick. Now, where were we? Oh, right. Nukitashi.

I’ve been putting off writing this review for months at this point. Looking back on it, I kind of forget why I even decided to read this VN in the first place…and as yet another one of my friends liveblog the second game, I begin to remember. Ikuko, Touka, Rei, Asane…I wish I knew how to quit all of you.

Some people will call it a plotge, I honestly disagree. The amount of h-content is pretty ridiculous and over the top, to the point where it just sort of blends in the background…kind of dangerous should I ever forget that the normal hallway bg has people going at it in the background and don't think of closing the game when a family member barges into my room (it happens). It’s a bit long at (apparently) 450910 words, but at least a third of them are probably “get","pregnant" and "bitch” in that specific order, a sentence I read so often it stopped to mean anything (not that it ever did, to be fair). There’s only two choices: in the first one you pick which of the first three heroines you want, and then unlock a new choice at a slightly earlier point during your fourth playthrough. I should also mention the opening, that goes way harder than it should.

Oh yeah, all the h-scenes kind of suck. That's fine, since like everyone else I'm reading this nukige for the character themes, and, most importantly, for the yuri.

Part 2: there's a lesbian character but she never gets with anyone

Ah.

Part 3: don't mind that there isn't a part 1

Even at his best, Junnosuke can come across as a deeply aggravating protagonist, and Nanase’s route is him at his worst. His biases are explained in the context of his backstory, but not really meaningfully challenged in the end—all of the endgame heroines, including Nanase, are virgins. At least I could probably say that he and Nanase are kinda cute together…somehow. Trust me, this is kind of moege if you squint. A little bit more. Yeah, close your eyes. That’s it.

This is a real follow-the-plot-beats kind of route; Jun basically does as he’s asked and gets a decently happy ending out of it. The other routes break this pattern, culminating in the fourth one setting the “you get to date your childhood friend” route as an explicitly bad ending, which is kind of weird. Poor Nanase. She’s better off without him, anyway.

I don’t have much to say about Hinami herself, that isn’t “everyone who made this should be beaten with a stick”. Her route adds insult to injury because that’s where Rei’s story happens. Rei’s character arc was so good, I can’t believe it had to be in a VN like this one. It’s insane. Her VA was acting her heart out. Why did Nukitashi of all things have to make me cry? But it’s fine. I can erase everything else, and just remember Rei. Probably.

Now, let’s get it out of the way: I hate Hotori. She’s like the Jar Jar Binks of Nukitashi, and her route feels so damn long. She and Jun are so happy together and obsessed with each other. I hope he dies.

There’s one good thing about this route though: my girl Ikuko is the main antagonist! She’s so blue! And cute! And I get to see her a lot! That scene with her in the rain was so good, I wish I could hug her in real life…

After Hotori’s overly long and annoying route, Fumino’s felt like even more of a crawl, this time without the Ikuko eye candy to back it up. At this point in time I was really getting diminished returns. Part of it might’ve been the story being boring, and also the exhaustion of rushing through the whole VN in less than a week, but also, this last route is long, and once again I couldn’t care less about the main relationship. A friend called the last confrontation a “heaven’s feel-ass fistfight”, and I hate that she’s right.

All’s well that ends well, and now the Sex Island is inclusive of gay people. Diversity win!

It feels like I have way more complaints than things I enjoyed, which is the case, but still. There’s good characters, sometimes. It’s funny, sometimes. Asane is there.

I hope Ikuko’s route in 2 doesn’t suck…